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Christian Submission

This lesson had its roots in a sermon by Bruce White. Mr. White (a minister for whom I have great respect) infuriated me with a sermon that, in my opinion, pandered to the "Church of What's Happening Now" - our long running desire to show the world that the church is up to date and with it. In this case, "with it" meant flowing along with feminist theology. But all that is not eternal is eternally out of date.

It did, however, challenge me to examine the concept of Christian Submission. It forced me to clarify my own thinking on the subject. This lesson is a result of that challenge, and to the extent that it reflects God's will I am obliged to Bruce for the inspiration. The errors, of course, remain my own.

Bruce's sermon was well received by the congregation, for in it he acknowledged that we, as American Christians, just don't like the word "submission." This is the root of the problem, so let us begin by examining Christian Submission in general. We will then apply our learning to the marriage relationship.

First, and foremost, we are all in submission to Jesus Christ. If submission in general is objectionable, so is Christianity. I suspect, therefore, that the objection is not to submission but to submission to another human being - in particular, wives submitting to husbands. Husbands are sinners, and in (to be statistical about it) 50% of marriages are the dim witted partner. But consider:

With that example, and that command, how can we object to submission?

Submission has a meaning in the world, and a meaning in the church - and they are different. We will focus on submission relationships in the church, but occasionally will compare them to the world as well.

Submission relationships are common throughout the church:

If we are to correctly understand the nature of this relationship, we must see what these relationships have in common.

Authority. In the church, all authority belongs to Christ. In the world, authority often grows out of the barrel of a cannon. Therefore, authority in the church is sanctioned by God, while authority in the world may not be. If you accept that authority, then, you must accept with it the responsibility. If you pretend to the authority and do not accept the responsibility, it is sin.

Let me give you an example. I'm a teacher. On occasion I have had to intervene in the lives of my students to prevent them from hurting each other. Suppose I did this by walking into your house at 3:00 AM in the morning and standing between you and your spouse. Do I have the authority to do this? Of course. Do I therefore have the authority to walk into your house any time I want? Of course not. Authority comes with, and only with, responsibility.

Responsibility. It is all too common in the working world to find that you have all the responsibility and none of the authority. But in the church, responsibility and authority match exactly, for they flow from precisely the same source - the commands of Christ. If you have the responsibility, you automatically have the authority. Any mismatch between the two is sin. If you have the responsibility, and deny the authority, you deny your Lord's authority. If you have the authority and fail the responsibility, you are a poor steward of what God has given you.

Task. But what about the person in submission? What is their task? In the world their task is often greater than it should be. But in the church their task is quite simple: whatever it takes to accomplish the task of the one in authority, they are to assist in that - so as to bring joy.

(Heb 13:17 NIV) Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.

If you are to obey those in authority to the point of making their task a joy, how much more should you do in marriage?

Note, too, that authority and submission do not match. Usually, (like our example above) submission has a much greater theoretical range than authority. That's perfectly normal; submission is much harder to abuse.

Voluntary Nature. The world believes in the draft board. Christians are all volunteers. So all submission relationships in the church are voluntary. I am Lord and Master of my house - and I have my wife's permission to say so.

Reason for Existence. The reason for submission relationships in the world varies; it could be power, or greed, or any number of things. But in the church there is only one reason why these relationships exist: sin. You think not?

Bible teachers would not be needed - if sin did not exist. This does not mean that the teacher is less a sinner than the taught. But the prevention and remediation of sin is one of the great themes of teaching the Gospel.

The theory may sound abstract; let us bring it down to a more personal level.

Beneficiary. The primary beneficiary of a submission relationship - in the church, not in the world - is the person in submission.

Nature of Leadership. Pomp and ceremony may attend the world's leaders, but the church knows only one model of leadership: servant leadership. We see it most clearly in Christ washing the feet of his disciples. Paul gives us another example, this one of people whose reputation is unknown to us:

(1 Cor 16:15-16 NIV) You know that the household of Stephanas were the first converts in Achaia, and they have devoted themselves to the service of the saints. I urge you, brothers, {16} to submit to such as these and to everyone who joins in the work, and labors at it.

Motivation. The world's motivations may vary, but in the church there is only one motivation for a submission relationship: love. If you are placed in authority over someone in the church, you are commanded to love them.

Consider it well in the world. Who was the best "boss" you ever had? Do you esteem him or her that way because of efficiency, or mental brilliance - or because he or she cared for you?

Judgment. It is a grave matter to misuse the authority that Christ gives you. Many of us condemned Bill Clinton for his affair with Monica Lewinsky - and not just for the adultery, but the misuse of power. It is as James tells us:

(James 3:1 NIV) Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.

It is a principle of Scripture that those who place themselves in submission to those authorities God has ordained - and especially when they suffer for it - are blessed by God.

Sometimes God commands that we place ourselves in submission not because of our own sin but for the sake of the kingdom - and the salvation of others from sin. Sin is the root cause; the spread of the kingdom is the immediate cause.

That last is important, of course. But in what follows we will be discussing a marriage between Christians - as such, it is an ideal. It happens when both partners are Christians and both are working hard to build their marriage into what God wants it to be. But should we not know where the target is before we start shooting?

Marriage is given to us as the picture of the relationship between Christ and His Church. Why was I so mad at Bruce? Because he teaches that submission doesn't mean submission; it means merely "respect." If that is so, then may I ask:

Submission means submission. So let's look at the specifics as we did at the general case.

As stated, the authority defines the responsibility and vice-versa. So then, what is the authority and responsibility of the husband?

Husband, you are to be the spiritual leader of the household - and if the spiritual leadership is right, all else will fall into place. "The main thing is to keep the main thing, the main thing."

But what of the wife? How is she supposed to behave? Remember that authority and submission do not match. If we are to be obedient and submissive to those in civil authority over us, to the point that their tasks become a joy, how much more should women be obedient to their husbands! Indeed, I would submit: wife, your task is to make your husband's authority over you a joy to him. And how are you to do this?

Remember, this is a voluntary relationship (on both parts).

Do you remember that I said that such relationships exist because of sin? One purpose of marriage is to prevent the sin of fornication; another, to prevent adultery. But kindly remember who is responsible in this: the man.

Another such prevention is this: go down to the courts of our land. Look at the juveniles going through them. Over and again you will see the products of a broken home. A marriage like this is designed to prevent the sin of the children.

Does this seem a burden, ladies? Remember that the beneficiary of this relationship is you. This comes, however, of having a husband who is a servant-leader, not an arrogant tyrant. If his motivation is love (agape), tyranny will flee from his mind.

A word of warning to the husbands: do not think you can get away with abusing this relationship. Hear the word of the Lord:

(Mal 2:13-16 NIV) Another thing you do: You flood the Lord's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. {14} You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. {15} Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. {16} "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

Submission in marriage is a dance - in which the male always leads.

We often hear Proverbs 31 quoted about the ideal woman. Many have held that this passage means that a woman should stay home and be kept barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. But consider:

This is not about money, or who's doing the dishes tonight - it's about spiritual leadership. Where your heart is, your treasure will be also. This is about things which are eternal, and which will come to light on the day of judgment.

I can almost hear the objection. "John," he will say, "you don't understand. When I married her, she was a babe! Now look at her! I deserve better than that, don't I?"

I cannot omit this passage. It was written 1500 years ago, but in circumstance very like our own day. It has not lost its relevance:

It has taken me many years to come to the point in my marriage where I have even begun to understand what Christ commands of me. My wife has suffered through much. It even came to this:

One year, our class went on a retreat to Arrowhead Springs. I was to deliver the communion meditation Sunday morning. I "chose" to speak on the subject of forgiveness being required before communion could be had. As I was speaking, the Spirit moved in me and convicted me of the embarrassment I had given my wife in my constant barbs during my teaching. A teacher must be an example. I went to my knees before her, in front of the class, and asked her forgiveness for my mean-spirited ways.

God has taken that forgiveness and magnified it into beauty. Husband, if you will be obedient to your Lord Jesus Christ, and love your wife, her submission will blossom into your joy.