Welcome to Becomning Closer! 

Sermon on the Mount

You Have Heard It Said

Matthew  5:27-48

Lesson audio

Divorce and Adultery

Matthew 5:27-37 NASB  "You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY';  (28)  but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  (29)  "If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.  (30)  "If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.  (31)  "It was said, 'WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE';  (32)  but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.  (33)  "Again, you have heard that the ancients were told, 'YOU SHALL NOT MAKE FALSE VOWS, BUT SHALL FULFILL YOUR VOWS TO THE LORD.'  (34)  "But I say to you, make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God,  (35)  or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by Jerusalem, for it is THE CITY OF THE GREAT KING.  (36)  "Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black.  (37)  "But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes' or 'No, no'; anything beyond these is of evil.



It is difficult for this author to write about this subject at this time. The pastor at our church recently preached a sermon on divorce. To put it simply, I was shocked at the number of reasons he associated with the concept of adultery. Pornography is no good thing, but is it cause for divorce? He also chose to include the Pauline exception of abandonment as cause for divorce — and then included any number of forms of abandonment. Let me counsel the husbands: don’t spend too much time on your stamp collection. You may get served with divorce papers.

Not wishing to start a church fight, let me state simply how we are to deal with adultery.

·         First, adultery means any sex outside of your marriage. (Fornication happens when you are both single.) If you are married and have sex with someone other than your spouse, that’s adultery. It may also be incest, rape or any number of other crimes but at least it is adultery.

·         Christ makes it clear in this passage that the thought is father to the action. God alone may judge the heart, but he will judge accurately. The key to controlling lust is to decide that you will have one partner as long as you both shall live. Lust is a sin.

·         There is no path which gets you halfway to heaven. You either make heaven, or hell. The stakes are so high that it is wise and prudent to do what ever is necessary to achieve heaven. If that means sawing off parts of your body, so be it. We normally consider that an exaggeration for effect, but the point is deadly serious.

·         God understands that the human being has a desire for sex. After all, he put it there. To satisfy that desire for sex he has given us marriage. Paul tells us that an unsatisfied desire for sex with your intended bride is a good reason to get married.

Do you remember the promise you made on your wedding day? It was something like, “to cling to her and her alone.” That is God’s intention for your marriage.


It follows, naturally, that adultery would therefore be grounds for divorce. We may take a moment to examine the new view as propounded from our pulpit.

·         Adultery is now defined as “anything that breaks sexual intimacy.” Besides the obvious, this includes things like pornography and erectile dysfunction. The concept is now quite a bit more elastic.

·         Abandonment — based on the Pauline exception — is now considered grounds for divorce. This includes any activity which could be interpreted as spending too much time on something other than the marriage. The obvious difficulty is with the definition of “too much time.”

The new definition is much more flexible, of course. And it certainly accords more with what our society believes today. We might therefore take a look at the classic view and see where it differs.

·         The original word in the Greek is the root word from which we get our word, “pornography.” The most common translation of this word in the Scriptures is adultery.

·         The word can also be translated “fornication” or “incest.” In either these cases it is still sex outside of marriage.

·         The Pauline exception we have noted has classically been interpreted to mean separation, not divorce. Also, the circumstances were strictly limited in the classical view. Spending too much time on your stamp collection is a problem, not grounds for divorce.

We might also invoke the context of the times. At the time which Christ was speaking, there were two views. One set of rabbis held that practically anything was grounds for divorce, including such things as burning the soup or raising your voice towards your husband. The other school of rabbis held that adultery, and adultery alone (the old-fashioned definition) constituted sufficient grounds. People them, like people today, preferred the much more liberal interpretation. Christ came down in favor of the other side. The reader has the privilege of selecting which view he thinks is most appropriate.


It might seem out of place to include Christ’s words on vows and oaths in this section, but there is very definitely a connection. Bill Clinton to the contrary notwithstanding, character is not something composed of separate little compartments. It’s something you carry with you all the time. In particular we have the issue of honesty: do you keep your word? A vow is a special form of keeping your word. It is clear from the Scripture that a man’s word, as my father said, should be his bond. You say it, you mean it, you carry it out. If that’s true for just your ordinary speech, how much more true should it be for something like your wedding vows?

Think of it this way: you went to the trouble of assembling a large number of your friends and family, probably in a church in the presence of a minister of God, for the specific purpose of hearing the two of you pledge each other that you would stay faithful to each other for the rest of your lives. You did it, as my impious brother-in-law puts it, “right out in front of God and everybody.” (He ought to know; he’s on wife number four or five.) Yet our society takes this file so lightly that we encourage people — often at the wedding reception itself — to view marriage and fidelity as laughable. We are shocked when someone doesn’t commit adultery. Do you not see that adultery is simply a form of dishonesty? You gave the woman your word; keep it.

This may seem to be difficult. Honesty often is. It’s just that it is required.

Eye for an Eye

Matthew 5:38-42 NASB  "You have heard that it was said, 'AN EYE FOR AN EYE, AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH.'  (39)  "But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.  (40)  "If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also.  (41)  "Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two.  (42)  "Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.


Human Society: Us and Them

Something which often amazes Americans is the fact — and it is an undoubted fact — that most of the people of the world think they are racially superior to the rest of the planet. The Japanese know that they are better than the Chinese; Koreans are better than the Japanese and Chinese better than both. And none of them consider this exceptional. Indeed, within societies we usually find a class structure. The upper class takes it for granted that they are entitled to rule because they are obviously so much superior to those in the lower classes. Human beings naturally divide the world into us and them; and we all know that “we” are better than they are.

Only America — the melting pot of every people in the world — has had to confront the thought that there might not be one group of people who are racially superior to the rest. Worse yet, we’ve had to confront the thought that those people in the other group might have something to say that worth hearing. This is not particularly a virtue for Americans; we’ve been more or less forced into it. But perhaps we have the perspective to see it as it is. This is particularly relevant when it comes to the concept of a feud.

The Feud

For most of us, our memories extend only to the last insult we received. This is very helpful in conducting a feud.  We certainly don’t want justice — when vengeance is available. This desire for vengeance is one of the main reasons we have a system of laws to provide justice. Otherwise, we would have an overabundance of feuds. The chief characteristic of a feud is that it seems to go on forever.

Why? Because breaking a feud requires sacrifice. Somebody has to forgo vengeance for the last insult to break the chain of insult and vengeance. That is what Christ is talking about here. It is obvious that you are going to encounter the evil person, the abusive person. You are going to have grounds to conduct a feud. It will go on indefinitely unless someone takes positive steps to break it. What Christ is telling you here is the recipe for preventing it from getting started in the first place. Anger is a sin; so is envy. Christ is telling you to prevent both. There are three weapons that he brings to your attention here:

·         The first is patient endurance. If you will recall, we have stated all along that the Christian life is that of a Pilgrim, just passing through this world. The attitude is important because it changes the way you respond to the evil around you. If you know that you only have a short time to put up with this problem, it makes it a lot easier. Many of us approach life like were going to live here forever. We’re not.

·         The second weapon is simple charity. If someone is sufficiently in need as to ask you for help, you should do so if you can. It turns acquaintances into friends; sometimes, it turns enemies into friends. That applies even to those were enemies that we did not know we had.

·         The third weapon is often underrated. We might be willing enough to be charitable to someone who is forced to beg us; it amplifies our pride and increases his humiliation. But if someone borrows from you, with the honest intent of repaying, it preserves a certain dignity. This prevents them from getting mad at someone they’re not allowed to get mad at. Remember, the thought is still father to the action.

In Marriage

This advice applies in marriage as well as in the rest of the world. If you’ve ever had your spouse get mad at you, you understand that this passage means something to married couples. The world will tell you “don’t be an enabler.” Often, however, that means that you are being counseled to act not in love but in self-interest. The idea is that the first sign of trouble you should react vigorously create as much of a stink as you possibly can, and thus enforce your will on your partner.  Get help when you need it; not just evidence for your lawyer.

But is that love? Love bears all things. Love believes all things. Love hopes all things. Love endures all things. The world believes in the love that does not; Christians know the love that does.

What’s the problem here? I suggest to you that it is the world’s view of marriage. We are told, over and over again, that we need to have a balance of power in our marriage. In the second paragraph we are told that we need to know how to tip that balance of power in our favor. Much of radical feminist literature concerns itself with that balance of power. For the Christian, the concept does not apply in marriage. We don’t have a balance of power in marriage; we have an outpouring of love.

Enemies List

Matthew 5:43-48 NASB  "You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.'  (44)  "But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,  (45)  so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.  (46)  "For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?  (47)  "If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?  (48)  "Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.


Who Is My Neighbor Enemy?

Christ now ends this section with what seems to be an impossible command: be perfect. To understand how we can do this we must begin with the concept of just who is our enemy. I submit that there are three general categories:

·         First, there are those who persecute us.

·         Second there are those who are just generally evil. We seem to have an abundance of them, and if we come into contact with them our righteousness will cause conflict – and they will become our enemies.

·         But perhaps the most numerous class of enemies is this: whoever we make our enemies. Sometimes it seems we go out of our way to produce them.

One thing is certain: we don’t seem to have any shortage of them. The question seems to be what were going to do about it.

What to Do

We must begin with a little advice on what not to do. We are to forgo the physical reaction to those who are our enemies. In fact we are to have the exact opposite reaction the world is expecting. At the very least, this carries with it the advantage of surprise. Nobody is expecting you to do this.

As a bit of personal testimony, let me assure you that this works. I once had a manager who was absolutely “a great example of a bad idea.” He made it his purpose that all of his employees understood that they were not supposed to be enjoying themselves at all when they were at work. He was a man who “did all the thinking around here, because I personally have all the brains.” I was very frustrated. My wife suggested, however, that I should make a deliberate effort to make this man my friend. It took quite a while to do it, but it succeeded. Throughout the entire process the man did not have a clue as to how to handle me. He was accustomed to using the weapons of Satan; he had no way to withstand the weapons of God.

It’s more than that. Not only are we to forgo the physical things of this world in dealing with our enemies, not only are we to love our enemies, but we are also commanded to pray for them. Let’s put this into perspective. We, those chosen few who are mighty enough to know the Almighty God, have been asked to bring forward to him those poor souls who have the misfortune to be our enemies. We are to put them before the throne of grace so that our heavenly Father may bless them — and likely enough get to know him better.

The problem with most of this for most of us is that it seems to be unjust. But is it? We are taught to love our neighbor as ourselves; have you ever asked how you love yourself? I don’t know about you, but I have no trouble loving despite all the things I’ve done. It doesn’t matter how ashamed I am of some of the stuff that I’ve pulled, I still think of the most lovable guy around and definitely worth loving. Instead of whacking me over the head for this, God simply asks me to be fair about it. He simply asks that I treat everybody else the same way. That’s fair, isn’t it? So you see, it really is a just thing to do.

I Can’t Do This

The immediate reaction from the Christian is, “I can’t do this.” But if you ever asked yourself just what “this” is? You are to be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect. In other words, you are to do what a question is always supposed to do: be the imitation of Christ. It’s not that you can’t do this; it’s that you can’t do this by yourself successfully. But as Hudson Taylor once put it, God’s work, done in God’s way, will never lack for God’s supply. He will enable you to do this if you will but ask.

If you are a parent, you understand this. If your child comes up to you and asks you for something that you know is good for them, something that you know will help them grow into be the kind of adult you want to be, you will do whatever is necessary to get it for them. Your heavenly Father is no less wise. If you ask for something that helps you grow like him, he will provide.


It may sound like this section doesn’t have much to say about marriage, but I cannot leave this lesson without bringing the point home. If this is what you would do for your enemies, then how much more should you behave well towards those you love? Your wife is your sister in Christ; at least treat her that well. Sadly, it is often true that when we make an enemy we do it in our own household. Take care that you do not make your spouse your enemy. And if you do, take care to treat them as Christ commands us here.

Previous     Home     Next