My dear young friend,
Your description of the amours of your prince – I mean, your president –
seems humorous beyond words. Have men become so pious that an amorous prince is
now a rarity? I cannot believe it. Then why did you impeach him?
No doubt the fault lies with your method of governance. That you should allow
your princes to be selected by the mob – and by women! – beggars my
imagination. Is it not the case that your palaces are haunted by knaves, fools
and idiots loving the sound of their own words? There are men who will blather
on regarding their pet idea, and your democracy is no doubt filled with them.
Have they become so numerous that a prince is beheaded for his paramour? No
doubt this will encourage marital fidelity in the others – which is a good
thing – but is not the method a bit extreme? Surely the man’s wife would be
Of course, had you beheaded him for idiocy I could understand it. The man
seems to have forgotten which end of the woman is for use. We have any number of
elderly peasants who still know what to do with a wench; a pity we cannot send
one to you. It would instruct the president and amuse the peasant.
Isaac the Alchemist