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Letters from an Ancient Mind

My dear young friend,

Your description of the amours of your prince – I mean, your president – seems humorous beyond words. Have men become so pious that an amorous prince is now a rarity? I cannot believe it. Then why did you impeach him?

No doubt the fault lies with your method of governance. That you should allow your princes to be selected by the mob – and by women! – beggars my imagination. Is it not the case that your palaces are haunted by knaves, fools and idiots loving the sound of their own words? There are men who will blather on regarding their pet idea, and your democracy is no doubt filled with them. Have they become so numerous that a prince is beheaded for his paramour? No doubt this will encourage marital fidelity in the others – which is a good thing – but is not the method a bit extreme? Surely the man’s wife would be sufficient punishment!

Of course, had you beheaded him for idiocy I could understand it. The man seems to have forgotten which end of the woman is for use. We have any number of elderly peasants who still know what to do with a wench; a pity we cannot send one to you. It would instruct the president and amuse the peasant.

I remain,

As ever,

Isaac the Alchemist



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